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When you feel like your marriage is over, should you admit defeat or try one more time?

When you feel like your marriage is over, should you admit defeat or try one more time?

It is never a good feeling when you realize that your marriage is over, or at least in its last stage. There are times when our relationships are not easy. But there may also come a time when buried resentments turn into full-blown bitterness and little problems become insurmountable. Some of these problems can be solved (it can be difficult, and both parties should feel equally confident that the marriage is worth saving) and others simply cannot. So when you find yourself feeling like your marriage is over, is it time to pack your bags and move on, or to make a final push?

In the end, no one can answer that question because only you and your spouse know what is really going on in your relationship. The problems that lead to the dissolution of a marriage do not arise without warning overnight. Often times, these are long-standing grievances that are not discussed or addressed, causing resentment to grow and grow to replace love in your relationship. If you realize that your marriage is over and your relationship has evolved to this point, it will be very difficult to get things back on track.

The option of seeking individual or couples counseling should always be considered as a last-ditch effort in trying to save your ailing marriage. When relationships reach a point where divorce is discussed, it is often difficult for a couple to communicate with each other in a meaningful way. Having a neutral third party to productively lead and control the conversation can be helpful. But therapy will only work if both partners agree to follow through and get the most out of therapy. If your spouse refuses to seek counseling at this time, it is very likely that, sadly, your marriage is over.

As difficult as it may be to get divorced, it is better to give yourself and your spouse a chance to find happiness elsewhere than to live a miserable existence with someone for whom you feel nothing but resentment. It is difficult to admit defeat, especially in something as sacred as marriage, but there is no point in submitting yourself and your spouse to undue misery for the sake of pride. It will take a lot of long, deep and introspective thinking on your part to decide whether or not it is worth staying at the end. When you feel like your marriage is over, you can take steps to save it if you think it’s possible, or you can cut your losses before someone is hurt more than they already have been.

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