Speak to a person to serve on a non-profit board

Years ago, I approached a young businessman about the possibility of him joining the board of trustees of the university where I was serving as president at the time. He was open to the idea, but he didn’t immediately commit. Then, and subsequently, I did the “good presidential thing” and pitched, lobbied, cajoled, cajoled, and sold him on the idea of ​​serving as trustee.

Finally, my friend said, “Yes,” he was appointed to the board, and of course I felt good. I thought I had done my duty as a nonprofit CEO, helping to build our board with young talent.

But a couple of years later things were not going as expected. My young trustee friend missed meetings regularly, he didn’t participate much when he did attend, and otherwise seemed only peripherally involved. So, with some frustration, I remember speaking privately with our young board member’s older relative, a leader of our board and a man with whom I enjoyed a close relationship. I said, “You know, we have Ben, but we don’t have his heart. I think I convinced him to serve on the board before he was ready.” To which my wise mentor said, “I think you will too. What did you learn from that?” Well, I learned a lot.

First, I learned that you don’t want everyone you think you want on your board to be on your board. We identify people with compelling gifting skills or networks and think, “We need that person on our board.” And they may be willing to serve, but the people who are willing are not always able. Or we identify people with leadership skills and think, “That person would take our board to the next level.” Maybe this is true, but the people who can are not always willing. In any case, the last thing you want to do as the CEO of a non-profit organization is to pressure these people to join the service.

Second, I learned that my gift of gab, this innate and developed facility with the spoken word, can sometimes get me into trouble. I’ve learned that I can actually motivate (manipulate?) someone to serve on a board of directors. Not all CEOs of nonprofit organizations are “talkers.” Fortunately we are not all the same. But then again, to survive and thrive in leadership, you need to be able to speak the king’s English and most CEOs are pretty good at getting their thoughts across. We don’t realize or forget that our words are powerful, that they can compel people rather than just engage them.

I don’t think what I said to my young businessman friend was “wrong.” But in retrospect, I think I “wore it out”. I think he agreed to serve on our board more to get me off his back, or to please me, or out of guilt, than out of a sense of passion for the mission. To the extent this assessment is accurate, the college board appointed a new administrator who deep down really didn’t want to be there. As president, I notched the handle of my gun, so to speak, but no one ultimately benefited from this appointment, not the university, not the trustee, not even me.

The end of the story of this young trustee was inevitable. About four years into his service, he quietly resigned and, worse, walked away from further commitment or financial support for the university.

So I learned that I didn’t want everyone on our board. At first I thought I wanted on our board. I learned that I needed to present my organization and board opportunity with enthusiasm, always modulating it with respect for the person I was speaking to. I needed to consider their best interests, the timing, the decision-making process, perhaps the prayers and the “adjustment,” not just my goal of getting a “Yes” and another victory.

The same, by the way, can be said for fundraising. Too many CEOs of nonprofit organizations “go for the gold,” thinking frankly about the amount of the request, the goal of the campaign, and how good it will feel to receive the gift. What we need to think about, what’s best for the organization and the cause and the donor in the long run is what are the donor’s priorities, what are the donor’s interests and feelings, and what’s best for the donor. If we truly match the vision of the organization with the priorities of the donors, in the long run we will attract bigger gifts and, even better, loyalty with longevity.

In the last year, the story of our young trustee and my learning curve came back to me. I am now serving another nonprofit as CEO, and with that role comes the usual need and opportunity to build the board. I met this semi-retired businessman, liked and respected him, admired his accomplishments and talent, and appreciated the fact that he made a substantial gift to the organization. Everything about him told me: “He’s board material.” So I approached him with the idea.

My friend expressed openness and said that he would think about it and pray about it and discuss it with his wife. He also attended two board meetings four months apart, meeting board members and learning more about our organization. But still, he held back.

At this point, my outgoing personality and goals said, “Push.” Fortunately, it was then that I remembered young Ben and his wise relative, my mentor, from years ago. What did I learn then? Does it apply now? He did it.

I presented my friend with the case for board membership, then backed off. Over the next several months I interacted with him, including a visit to his home, but only once did I mention the meeting opportunity.

This gentleman is still my friend, still very interested in our organization, still open to considering further financial support, and not yet a board member. In fact, I recently received an email from him saying that he had looked at it carefully and finally concluded that his other commitments did not allow him to give us what we needed at this time.

So should I be sad? Maybe a little, because I still believe my friend’s service would strengthen our board, but not if he’s not ready. So should I be sad? Not really, because we’ve gained a new, probably long-term supporter who could one day serve on the board. As it is, he’s about as committed as one can be without accepting a formal appointment. Consequently, the organization, our friend and even I are not better but “better”.

Nonprofit CEOs are typically entrepreneurs, and they should be. We just have to remember to scale back sometimes in the best interest of our vision, goals, and constituencies. Supporters who are willing and ready to serve are the best. So be careful not to talk people into things they’re not really ready to do.