Public courtesy
How do you feel when you walk into a public bathroom and there are papers all over the floor, flush toilets, and wet toilet seats? If you are a woman, you are probably upset; men tend to be less reactive. However, men, what about rude drivers? Most of us don’t like rude “customer service” staff; long waits on mindless telephone answering systems, stocks at the hardware or grocery store are cluttered and out of order, graffiti, trash and debris on our sidewalks and roads, spitting in public and people talking loudly on their phones cell phones in a restaurant or in line at the bank. The bigger our cities get and the more people don’t know each other, the easier it seems to be to be rude and careless with public behavior and property.
I’ve written about the power of courtesy before, but that was at the person-to-person level. In that article, I wrote: “Courtesy and consideration are powerful. We all want to be liked, cared for, and treated with kindness. We are human, so we don’t always manage to be our best. But, the more kindness we can. and consideration we send, the more it returns us.
“Rules of etiquette exist because to create civilization, we need limits. Rules of polite behavior can sometimes seem restrictive, but when people use them, they make new and uncomfortable situations more comfortable. Etiquette is just a prescribed form. to be courteous and considerate to others. As we get to know each other better, we can relax the rules, but maintaining attitudes of consideration and respect ensures a more successful connection. “
Even in anonymous situations, this is true. Do you remember the movie and the book titled Pay it later? His concept was: if someone does something nice for you or helps you, and you can’t really pay them back, do kind things for others as a way to pay off your debt of gratitude. In other words, pay in advance. The thing about this process is that it tends to make other people think about being more considerate of themselves. The lockers of the gym I go to are usually left open, papers on the floor, etc. I find that when I turn around and close all the open and empty lockers (which is best for the hinges, and lately we’ve lost a few doors), other people tend to close theirs. People are also less likely to spoil a neat bathroom than a messy one. The “broken windows theory” employed to such good effect in various cities across the country posits that fixing problems while they are small will deter more petty crime and low-level antisocial behavior. In other words, people are being influenced to be more careful about spoiling clean and orderly environments than messy ones.
So, in the interest of making all of our lives more courteous and enjoyable, I offer these suggestions for public courtesy. I got some suggestions from other people on Twitter. Feel free to post them to your favorite public toilet, online wherever you want, and give them to passersby on the street. This will appear on my website shortly after I receive it, so you can get the URL there if you want to Tweet it or put it on Facebook. However, I would appreciate it if you would ensure that it is listed as an author. I will be happy to accept any complaint that comes my way.
Do I really have to say these things? Supossely Yes. Somehow, the consideration for those who will be in space after people die, I hope to revive it.
Guidelines for Public Courtesy
By Tina B. Tessina
1. Public restrooms, classrooms, waiting areas, etc. Think of the other people who will come after you. If you accidentally drop a piece of paper on the ground, pick it up and dispose of it properly. If you are concerned about keeping your hands clean, use another piece of paper to pick up the one that fell off and wash your hands or use a hand sanitizer. Do not leave the toilet seats in an unusable condition (do not leave them wet) Use a toilet seat cover if you are afraid of germs, or lift the seat if you are not going to sit on it, so that the next person does not get a sprayed seat. If the area is cluttered, let someone know. If there are no supplies, let someone know.
2. On the sidewalk, public buses, trains and other means of transportation. Think of the people who will come after you. Don’t leave food wrappers, discarded reading material, and other garbage lying around. If there is no trash can, save the discarded items until you get to the nearest trash can. Please don’t break bottles in front of other people’s houses. Don’t empty your car ashtray in the gutter in front of someone’s house. Do not spit in the street or on the sidewalk, it is disgusting to others and unsanitary. Pick up your pet’s waste. Even if your mom took things away from you your whole life, you are now an adult and it’s your job to do it yourself. If two or more of you are walking on the sidewalk and someone approaches, don’t force them off the sidewalk; stand aside and make room. Oh yes, and the old recursob: if someone older, pregnant, or obviously disabled is standing, and you are young and capable, get up and give up your seat.
3. When driving, understand that your car has turn signals for a reason. Your purpose is to let others know what your intention is, so they can safely pass in front of you, or they will know when to wait. Not giving any signals really increases the likelihood that you will endanger yourself or others. A turn signal is also a polite way of asking to be allowed to enter another lane on multi-lane highways; so if you see one, let the driver in. It’s actually faster than forcing you to create a traffic jam because someone rudely refused to allow access. Driving politely is driving safely. Complying with traffic rules, speed limits, and stop signs keeps you and everyone else safe. Running like crazy wins you nothing (doesn’t even save time) and puts you, your passengers, and everyone else in danger. You may think you have great reflexes and driving skills, but so did everyone else who died from speeding. Also, pay attention to pedestrians, especially when it is raining or bad weather, when your car may splash or splash them, even if they are on the sidewalk. Oh yeah, noise. Speakers and loud music, especially in residential areas at night or early in the morning, are not appreciated by anyone who has to listen to them. Neither are mufflers or overly loud motorcycles.
4. Treat service people with courtesy. Most of them will respond the same way. Even if you are unhappy with something that the bank, restaurant, business, agency or store did wrong, it is probably not the fault of the person who is assisting you. If you feel they are not helping, politely ask to see a manager. If you can’t get help any other way, try looking online for the Public Relations person and give them a call. I found that I can get quick and effective help when I talk to the person who understands the power of the company’s public image. I have also found that the very helpful staff in my councilman’s office will help me find the right person to speak to in a government bureaucracy. It’s amazing what can be done if you stay calm, keep your thinking clear, and ask directly and politely for what you want.
5. In hospitals, nursing homes, hospices, and other places where people are sick, if you are visiting a friend, be considerate of the person in the nearby bed. Perhaps your friend or family member is feeling better and enjoying a loud conversation, but the person close to you may not be able to sleep. Your sick friend may not even tell you that sitting up in bed hurts or that staying too long is exhausting. Think about how you would feel in that situation and be courteous.
Even in waiting areas, anxiety for your loved one can make waiting family and friends forget. Be aware of where you are and be considerate of staff and other patients. Everyone is probably just as anxious as you are, and should be considered.
6. I am sure that I have forgotten many situations and would love to hear your own annoyances. In general, public courtesy means mindfulness: being aware that there are other people around you, others will come after you, and behaving with consideration and kindness to everyone, even those who are not here yet. You will find that you feel good about yourself for doing it, and if you believe that “what happens, what happens”, you know that you will get a return on your investment.