Legal Law
Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption: Your Choices, Your Decision

Pregnant and Thinking About Adoption: Your Choices, Your Decision

A common reaction to an unplanned pregnancy is to think that you only have two options: raise the child yourself or have an abortion. The other option and often the better the choice is adoption.

When you first realize that you are pregnant, it is natural to feel pressured to make an immediate decision about what to do. There is no reason to rush into a decision that you may not be prepared to live with. You have more time to decide than you think.

You have three options. One of them will be the best decision for you. But to make the right decision for you, you need to consider all three options, not just one or two.

Abortion is a final decision that leaves no room for error. Once this is done, there is no opportunity to reconsider. You may rush into the decision to abort when, in fact, that may not be the best option for you.

Some women “just know” that abortion is not for them. Even when pressured by their boyfriend to have an abortion right away, most women feel deep down and in their hearts that abortion would not be the right decision for them or their baby. With abortion, no one wins except the boyfriend. Too often, the groom just wants the “problem” to go away, and fast. You have no desire to have a baby in your life. Having a child would interfere with the way you spend your days and nights. Having a child would force you to take on personal and financial responsibilities that you don’t want. Having a child would someone the rest the focus of your attention instead of him!

For him, abortion is a quick and easy solution and then it’s over for good. He has no real concern or understanding about the long-term effects an abortion will have on you, not to mention the baby!

He may tell you that he will “forget” or that he “can’t remember what he never had.” Could not be farther from the truth. The truth is that having an abortion, while certainly killing your baby, does not kill your thoughts and feelings about your baby.

Women who have had an abortion are sad and often full of regret throughout their lives. It becomes an empty hole in their hearts that is never repaired. It is an especially painful regret because it was a decision they made. Abortion is not an accident that happens to you and it is not your fault. A woman who chooses abortion takes full responsibility for that decision. And, if there is regret, it hurts a lifetime.

When considering parenting, consider all of your resources carefully. Your time, energy, emotional availability, financial resources, and family members willing and able to help you. A young mother needs large amounts of all these resources.

Time. How do you spend your time? How want to waste your time? How many hours a week should you work to generate enough income for you and your baby? Are you trying to finish school in addition to working? How long will you have left to date and have a social life with your friends, when you are not working, going to school or taking care of the baby? How many hours a day will you actually have to spend with your child if he or she is working, going to school, and taking the time for yourself?

Energy. Having time to relax and enjoy your friends is critical to your well-being and happiness. Sufficient sleep and relaxation are necessary to rejuvenate yourself for the many tasks that you must accomplish each day. Without enough rest and playtime, you will quickly become overly stressed, irritable, and miserable. You may come to resent your many responsibilities. You may even resent the time you have to spend caring for and entertaining your child. It may seem selfish to think about your own needs, but if your needs are not met on a daily basis, you will not be able to meet your child’s needs.

Emotional availability. Deciding to be the father of a child is a lifelong commitment. And it is a constant commitment. Every minute of every day, mothers who want Being mothers constantly think of their child. Every decision you make is thinking about your child.

Not everyone wants to be a mother. And that’s fine. What doesn’t work well is be a mother and not really want be a mother. Both mother and child feel unhappy in this situation.

You may want to be a mother, but not now. That is good too. Take the time now to consider how much “love time” you have to give a child right now. If your focus at this time should be on caring your Uniquely, you and your child will be better served by making a decision that honors and cares for each of you.

Financial resources. Let’s be honest. Money matters. While you don’t have to be rich to be a good parent, and help is generally available in your community, it’s never really enough and doesn’t last long. Ideally, you need a reliable, self-earning source of income, enough to keep a decent roof over your head, healthy food on the table, and clothing for you and your child. And you need money to have fun and have fun with toys. After all, you don’t want to live in poverty and on welfare. And you don’t want your child to have to live a life of poverty and want. Consider the financial resources you have and the kind of life your resources will provide for you and your child.

Family members to help. Raising a child can be exhausting. Babies and children depend on you for everything. They need so much and there is very little they can do for themselves. You must do it. And when your energy runs out and you need to rest and rejuvenate, it would be very helpful to have someone to give you a break.

A family member who is willing to help can save your life. But be careful, people may want to help and promise to help you, without realistically evaluating your own ability to help. Most people have so many commitments of their own that they can’t have the time to help anyone, even if they want to. Be realistic about the people in your life who have the desire and ability to help you when you need it. And you will need it.

Everyone wants the best for themselves, that’s human nature. Although some may call it “selfish,” it is good to be selfish to protect yourself from the things you don’t want in your life. Now, you want the best for you and your baby. Don’t let anyone dissuade you from what is ultimately your decision and your decision alone.

Adoption may be the answer for everyone affected by the birth of your child. Adoption means that everyone can live the life they chose without interruption. And your child can live the life that your choose for her. Because you choose the adoptive parents. And as you will choose them, you will know that you can completely trust that they will be good parents; otherwise you will not choose them!

You will know how your baby is doing, how he is growing, and how happy he is. You will know that it has everything you need. You will have a loving family with two parents and loving extended family members like grandmothers, aunts, and cousins ​​who will be present and active in your life. You will attend great schools and participate in activities that you enjoy. Dancing, cheerleading, Girl Scouts, sports, playing a musical instrument. What will she choose? You will probably have a dog or a cat. You will probably travel to far away places, you will go to the beach and to the mountains. You can choose parents for her who will give her not only all the love and support she needs on a daily basis, but also the kind of life she dreams of for her.

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