Negative Gossip: Can’t think of something better to talk about?
A client recently asked me, “What would you have left to talk about if you cut gossip out of the conversation?” Very good question, because most of us spend a lot of our time gossiping. It can be little “harmless” things, like the behavior of the neighbors, how someone was caught on the road with someone else’s wife, how the neighbor was caught driving while intoxicated. Or how one of our children’s friends got drunk (and got sick on the school bus). Most of us, to a greater or lesser extent, delight in gossip, especially if it involves someone else falling flat on their faces.
Of course, if you stop to think about it for a moment, none of this is harmless. In fact, it is really harmful. First of all, it directs our energy towards the negative. But more importantly, it reduces the amount of energy we have available to do what we are supposed to do, right here, right now.
We are all familiar with the saying that everything that is circulated comes, get on that particular “pardon-go-round” at your own risk! We are all familiar with the concept that you reap what you sow, the same. These are old adages that modern science has shown to be correct: quantum physics. You get what you put in. Invest your energy in nonsense, and your life will be little more than nonsense in itself. Delight in the misfortune of others and you are preparing yourself for misfortune. Buddhists might call it the wheel of karma; a physicist could simply describe it as energy responding to energy.
And, in fact, that is the most important aspect of how negative gossip can affect the gossiper. If you are “spending” your energy talking nonsense, you have immediately reduced the time and energy available to do the really important things you need to do today. You don’t need to be a mathematician to figure out that time wasted on garbage reduces the amount of time you have to do. And yet many people complain that they simply don’t have enough hours in the day to do all of the things on their “to do” list.
If you invest your energy in the negative, you are perpetuating a well-proven fact that the normal mind tends toward negativity. This is very bad for you because it is your own state of mind that creates your life. Energy Going In – Energy Going Out – By pouring your energy into the negative, you are not only wasting time, straying from the important things of the day, but you are actively watering the seeds that you have been sowing your entire adult life that create a life normal that, at best, is not so bad.
Eliminate negative gossip. Stop diverting your energy from creating the effortless happiness and success that you can just direct your energy towards. Stop wasting time reveling in bad news, news that only confirms that it’s okay not to be so bad. Stop reading shit in the newspapers. Don’t get me wrong, we all need to be aware of what’s going on in the world, but we don’t have to wallow in the “news” about rape, assault, murder, and so-called normal people who generally misbehave. Stop skipping channels: immerse yourself in the “reality show” that brings traffic accidents, car chases and real crimes on our screens. That is not the reality, it is just one more proof that normal people are gone and more comfort to you in living a not so bad life. The real reality lies in the wonder of this here and now. That is just more examples of inappropriate behavior from “normal” people and it is certainly not entertainment.
Control yourself, you are a responsible adult, right? Take responsibility for the one thing in life that you can be totally and absolutely responsible for, your own state of mind and where you direct your attention. Why not start talking about good things, talking about how good people are, exchanging nice stories instead of competing with each other at the coffee break or water cooler for who can tell the most story. depressing? with serious illness. Seriously, all you have to do is snip the conversations that take place around you all the time (some of which you engage in) to realize what is going on. Negative gossip is sapping your energy, diverting you towards the negative. The result: Your negative energy is actively contributing to a negative world, stress, worry, anxiety, violence, and war. Every drop of “negative” adds to the sea of negativity.
For. Growing up. Focus on the good things in all of our lives. Not only will you feel better, not only will some of the people around you feel better about it, but you will also be more optimistic and focused on doing wholeheartedly what really needs to be done today. But, better than that and what is more important, you will get going on the merry-go-round of karma: by putting positive, you will get positive. Now, that makes more sense, doesn’t it?
Copyright (c) 2009 Willie Horton