Making the mistake of a rebound relationship
My daughter made a huge mistake a few years ago when she got divorced. While her emotions were still fresh and raw, she began a relationship with another man. It’s easy to see why she did it. She soothed her hurt feelings about her and made her feel like she was worthy again. Eventually she even married him; however, it has not been a happy union. He has turned out to be self-centered and abusive towards her and her children. Her mistake was grabbing the first guy who showed up without waiting to really meet him. She was insecure and unhappy, and she allowed him to play on these emotions. This is often a trap for those who have recently been divorced, but usually unsuccessfully.
What these people are not doing is giving themselves time to heal and get their lives back on track. They are in such a hurry to feel happiness again that they look for it in the wrong place. Having a friend that you enjoy spending time with is one thing, but expecting that person to play the central role in your existence for the rest of your life is usually not the best option. You’re still not over your ex like you should be and trying to project your ideas of a perfect match onto the next person you meet may be a little premature. Take your time finding the right person unless you want to go through the pain of divorce again.
One mistake many people make is basing a relationship on initial appearances. “Wow, it’s hot!” It’s not the same as knowing him completely and loving the person he really is inside. A true and lasting relationship is going to evolve over time as you get to know each other well enough to know how well your two personalities really fit together. You can only truly know another person by finding out about their inner being. Outer appearances will fade, but the inner being you settle on should be your soul mate before you even consider marriage.
If you have kids then you really need to think before you go into a rebound relationship. Too many children have been injured, or even killed, by their parents’ new boyfriend or girlfriend. The person with whom you are having a relationship has not developed any kind of bond with your children. In fact, he or she may be resentful that they take your time and attention. Also, right after a divorce, your kids are dealing with their own set of emotions and aren’t ready to accept a new mom or dad figure right away.