Is your partner your best friend?

How important is it in marriage that your partner is also your best friend?

For me, the most important part of being married is that you consider your partner to be your best friend: there for you through thick and thin, in sickness and in health. And who but a best friend would do that?

Perhaps this could even mean that if your partner isn’t your best friend, they probably won’t be with you for long either.

“I’ve never thought of any of my partners as best friends and I have ‘split’ best friends all the time.”

When I hear a statement like this, I wonder what kind of relationship this person has with their partner and how this might really differ from their relationship with their best friend.

And having said that, this could become the case at the heart of relationships when there may be certain things I might discuss with a best friend, sometimes even about my partner, that I wouldn’t share with my partner either. as there are certain things that I might talk about with my partner, sometimes even about my friends, that I wouldn’t share with my friends.

But when it comes to the really important things, like making decisions that affect us both, or when it comes to exposing the most vulnerable part of ourselves, your partner is probably the only person who sees that and knows about that part. of us. You.

Can your partner be more hurtful than your friends?

This is probably why your partner can hurt you more and often even more than your friends. While friends can let you down, in their misuse of the trust you place in them, by sharing something that was meant just for them, your partner can do a lot more damage by knowing where your weak spot is and hitting you harder there.

And for those of you who are really struggling with your relationship with your partner, even to the point of trusting your best friends more, then something is seriously wrong with your relationship that needs to be addressed if your relationship is going to be long term.

What is worth remembering here is that sometimes the issues that are present in your current relationship stem from your life experience growing up while watching your own parents struggle with their relationship. Often the fear comes from those previous experiences that lead you to mistrust your partner, just like your mom or dad may have mistrusted their partner. Witnessing him making decisions based on what he has seen or heard becomes his guide in his own adult relationships.

So if this is you and you’re struggling with your relationship: If you’re hesitant to let your partner be your best friend, then maybe it’s time to take a closer look at what’s really going on in this relationship.

An important postscript

Let me add this: there are, of course, relationships that cannot be considered in this way as they are with individuals who abuse you. If this is your situation, you may need to make a decision about whether you can be in this relationship. You may also need to make a decision for your safety that allows you to find a way out that does not leave you more vulnerable to abuse from your partner. This is a time when your friends can really become more important; as a support for you during such a difficult time. I’ll talk more about this another day.

So until next time – Relate with Love

lidy seysen