How to say no to your boss

Everyone reaches a breaking point eventually. You have too much on your schedule, assignments keep coming in, you’re being asked to work the fifth weekend in a row, and there’s no way you can sit down to one more team dinner after a long day at the office. On the other hand, the thought of saying no to your boss makes you shiver in your stilettos. If this is new territory for you, here are some tips for not only getting the job done, but also keeping you on your boss’s good side.

• Be rational. Often times, the first step in saying no is getting rid of some false assumptions on your part. Fear of retaliation prevents many from defending themselves. But, ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen if I say no?” You’ll be surprised that the answer is probably not as bad as you might think, and the benefits almost always outweigh the risks.
• Start early. If you wait to push back until you’ve reached your breaking point, emotions will be running high and you’ll risk looking like a crazy person if you explode. Start drawing boundaries as soon as you start your job, and support and respect those around you when they do the same.
• Be bold. Yes, saying that it can’t be scary if you’re not used to it. At some point, however, there has to come a time for you to put on your big girl pants and step outside your comfort zone to safeguard your sanity. No one else will do it for you.
• Suggest alternatives. Sometimes a simple “no” is exactly what the doctor ordered. However, if you have a boss who you think might be less than responsive, throw an alternative solution on the table. He shows that he is willing to work with them and starts a dialogue about the options available.
• Ask questions. We always assume that everything is mandatory. But is it? Have you ever thought of just asking? You can also enlist their help in reprioritizing your to-do list or getting extra people to help get everything done. Don’t forget, sometimes bosses need a little help seeing the big picture, too.
• Focus on impact. Have you ever noticed that when someone explains why they say no, they usually soften the blow? Your boss is no different. They care about you, but they really do care about your business goals. If there’s a way to connect the dots and show them why saying no will actually get better results, or prevent bad ones, go for it.
• Choose your battles. While you don’t want to be a “yes man,” you also don’t want to scream wolf. When you say no, make sure you’re doing it for a good reason, not just because you’re cranky. So the times you take a stand, people will take notice and really respect you for it.

If this still sounds scary to you, start small to test the waters. I promise you, with these simple tips you will be well on your way to putting some limits and more balance in your life.