How to Maintain Sexual Purity in Your Marriage

Sex is the most powerful force in the universe.

For the last few weeks we have been talking about sexual purity. I think today it will be useful to cover the importance of sex in our lives and our relationships.

Today I will address the married couples in class. For the rest of you, you will have to take Napoleon Hill’s advice and turn your sexual energy into other creative outlets like making money or promoting world peace. He suggested that the reason men under forty rarely make much money is that they expend all their energy on the pursuit of sex. After the age of forty, they settle down more often and “transmute” their sexual energy into the energy needed to achieve their goals.

One of Steven Covey’s seven habits is the habit of valuing differences in people. I can think of no other instance where this habit is more important than in marriage.

In case you haven’t noticed, men are different from women. Women look, act and think differently from men. While men tend to be more objective in their thoughts, women tend to be more subjective. Women are often better at considering the big picture when making a decision, while men tend to focus on the current situation.

Men are problem solvers, while women tend to be more supportive in their roles.
Despite attempts in modern culture to try to erase the differences between men and women, the differences are very real and must be valued. There is no reason why men and women cannot be the same but different.

Once, I was at a conference and on a break I ran into a group of professional women who were discussing life in the workplace. They were worried about how they should be treated the same as men and how they could do everything a man can do, etc. When the group leader noticed me, she asked my opinion as a man on the matter. She asked me, “Are women really equal to men in the workplace?” Knowing that she was being tempted into what she thought was a no-win situation, I first met her eyes and then looked her up and down noting how she was dressed. Then I quoted Steven Covey from one of the topics from the previous conference and said, “Personally, I value differences.” Suddenly her whole attitude changed and she offered to buy me a drink.

So let’s talk about sex. Men and women think differently about sex. For starters, there is a difference in how often men and women think about sex. Nevertheless,

I’ve done some research this week on the difference between how often men and women think about sex. The stat Don cited is flagged by Snopes.com as a false rumor. The only real scientific study data I could find was from the Kinsey Institute which said that 54% of men think about sex at least once a day, while 19% of women think about sex at least once up to date. Other studies suggest that men think more about sex when they’re not actually doing it, and women think more about sex when they’re doing it. This difference seems to explain the difference in frequency observed in the study.

Also, like former President Clinton, there is often a difference in how men and women define sex or a sexual thought. While a man might look at an attractive woman and instantly consider it a sexual thought, a woman seeing an attractive man might think in her mind that she would first have to meet him and see if she qualifies before actually considering him a sexual partner. . she and she therefore she does not consider seeing the attractive man as a sexual thought because she might not qualify him after meeting him.

In a British study last year that measured certain physical responses that are under subconscious control, such as pupil dilation, men and women responded about the same in their frequency of sexual responses.

So the main difference may be that women lie in the polls.

Let’s take a look at the bible:

Genesis 1:27

27 And God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female created he them.

We see here that God created both man and woman. So either God has a great sense of humor or he wanted us to appreciate the differences between us.

The most vivid example of not only appreciating the difference between men and women is sexual intercourse. The Bible often uses the image of two becoming one.

We all know the story of Adam and Eve and how they lost their oneness with God when they chose to separate themselves from him by choosing the fruit of good and evil. The search for wholeness has become man’s struggle throughout his life.

I believe that God created the sexual unit as a metaphor for how we can recover that unit. Sexual rituals have been used in many pagan worship practices and I believe it is because of this built-in drive to find spiritual oneness that this feeling promotes.

Let’s look at the importance of sex in the Bible:

Deuteronomy 24:5 (New International Version)

5 If a man has recently married, he should not be sent to war nor should any other duties be imposed on him. For a year he will be free to stay at home and make the woman he has married happy.

The myth that women don’t like sex as much as men is a relatively recent idea. I think it has been mostly promoted in the media as a way to create new markets for products. When I talk to older men about how to deal with women, they all seem to be under the assumption that women love attention from men and will do anything to get it. This modern idea that men should dress a certain way, buy a certain car, wear a certain cologne to attract women’s attention seems silly to men who grew up before World War II.

And if you ever want proof that a woman will do absolutely anything for a man she’s attracted to, just look at the girls riding on the back of motorcycles. I can’t imagine a more uncomfortable place to sit and they can’t drive or see where they’re going.

Today I am going to suggest a novel approach to sexual purity. I have noticed that one of the biggest causes of people seeking extramarital sex is that they are not happy with their current relationship. So the simple solution to this problem is: enjoy sex with your spouse.

Let’s look again at what the Bible says about it:

Proverbs 5:18-19 (New International Version)

18 May your fountain be damaged,

and that you rejoice in the woman of your youth.

19 A loving doe, a gracious doe,

may her breasts always satisfy you,

may you ever be captivated by his love.

This verse implies that we have a duty to continue to attract each other even after we get married. There are many studies that seem to indicate that women will stop acting seductive towards men once they are in a committed relationship. However, my own observations have shown another factor that may be hidden from researchers.

As part of my marketing study, I have done extensive research on the area of ​​attraction. If women really do lose the desire to seduce men after being in a committed relationship, then the blame falls squarely on the men. It seems that most men, the instant they feel comfortable with a woman, change their behavior and stop doing all the things that attracted their wives in the first place.
And once the attraction is lost, it is very difficult to get it back.

Going back to the differences between men and women, for women, the only thing that will make a woman sexually aroused is attraction. Logically you can’t debate her or beg or coerce or buy a woman’s stimulation, you can only attract her.

I can’t really go into detail about what a man needs to do to be attractive to a woman in a mixed class because the girls here would deny it.

But I will cover some basics.

Men need to be men, manly men. Nothing kills attraction to women faster than a wimpy, whiny guy fighting for her attention. Be a man, do manly things and ignore her for a bit and see what happens.

Women are attracted to the alpha male. The man who shows dominance and strength. She is drawn to adventure, mystery, and emotional power.

And girls, it’s your job to help your man be more attractive. If he does something that makes you appreciate his manhood, point it out to him.

But you can’t be subtle about it. Boys don’t speak the same language as girls. You may think you’ve told him, but if you didn’t understand his suggestions, then you haven’t told him.
I think you girls already know exactly how to be attractive to men, you just have to be motivated to show it.

And finally, let’s see what Paul said about sex:

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (New International Version)

3A husband must do his marital duty to his wife, and so must a wife to her husband. 4A woman’s body belongs not only to her, but also to her husband. Similarly, the husband’s body belongs not only to him, but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive yourselves of one another, but by mutual agreement and for a time, so that you dedicate yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan does not tempt you for your lack of self-control.

Basically, Paul is saying that if you’re having great sex at home, you won’t have to go elsewhere for it.

Once again, this means that men and women have a spiritual duty to remain attractive to each other.
Another myth promoted in our modern society is that somehow pretty girls are supposed to be better at sex than normal girls. I know several guys who will tell you the exact opposite.
A woman’s attractiveness to men is often her value as a conquest rather than her sexual abilities. So girls, one of your best tools to keep your man attracted to you is to remind him how much fun you are to be around.

As Mae West once said: “I am not a model, a model is just an imitation of the real thing.”

Having sex is one of the best ways to stay healthy. It helps you relax, it helps you focus on living in the present moment. If you’re thinking about something other than your partner while having sex, you’re doing it wrong.

Sex also helps clear the mind. And sexual union can be a great moment of spiritual unity.
In short, God created the sexual differences between men and women so that they could better enjoy each other and help each other deal with life’s problems and frustrations. Sexual union is a metaphor for finding oneness with God. And by having good sex in the right relationships, our lives become healthier, less stressful, happier, and generally more pleasing to God.

Focusing your sexual energy on your partner will greatly reduce any desire to seek sexual experience outside of your marriage. Enjoying a rich sexual experience with your partner will also eliminate any thoughts of sexual scarcity that you want to satisfy outside of your marriage.