Why self-love is a hope that leads to despair

“Forgive yourself.” “Be kind to yourself.” “Love yourself.” And a common one that I’ve often felt guilty about when encouraging people: “Be nice to yourself.” All well-intentioned turns of expression, but completely empty in spiritual utility; the equivalent of sugary high-GI fast food.

Self love is everywhere these days, not least on social media; even among those who confess their faith in Jesus. Always present in all humanity, as part of our predilection for sin, on this day it is inescapable and permeates even (especially) the church, which must be saved from a ‘love’ that overlooks God.

No wonder it doesn’t work.

But, alas, we are human beings! We are meant to try to fix ourselves! Why not add a little of our own unfortunate strength to ourselves in our weakness?

Why not? Because it does not work …

It is in our weakness that we are forced to add more weakness in the vain hope that it will make us strong. But strength only comes when we are honest with God about our need for God. Love cannot and does not come from ourselves to ourselves.

This age has absorbed us. Others do it to give us permission to sin a little. Whether it’s grandiose self-absorption, photos worthy of social media, family and other celebratory revelations (featuring the image of which we are blessed in a higher way, creating envy in others), or flaunting religious favor in itself. , It matters little: celebrity is a It is common to participate in idolatry, celebrities are demigods, we are all fans of someone or something, and everything is a road to nowhere disguised as heaven, and when it is, completely devoid of God.

All roads to nowhere are a journey into spiritual confusion and frustration because we strive for meaning that it cannot satisfy or master. And worst of all is practicing a bold self-assurance that you don’t realize or don’t mind changing.

But … if we live for the right, the best, the contrary to intuition, we will be satisfied.

There is a love that works!

I understand why the world is engulfed in a romance about self-love. It seems like common sense.

Why do we do it? Simple. It is the opposite direction to self-hatred, which is literally sweeping the world in waves to the delight of the devil. Self-love is no match for those self-deprecating voices that we all hear emanating from within from time to time. (Okay, it’s only those who will admit it.)

Self-love can fix immediate desire, like a cigarette for a dose of nicotine. But very soon, that empty reality is imprinted on our consciousness again. That existential routine! Will not disappear. We can’t fix this. There is a hole in us that is filled in only one way.

There is a way to combat this self-loathing that is attached to our mind.

There is a way, but it is not what we expect. There is only one love that can help.

A love beyond all vain idols to which we would cling otherwise.

First it is necessary to mention why self-love is ridiculous. How can a person struggling with self-loathing address it in himself when he cannot control that voice of self-loathing within himself?

Self love is used as an attempt to control something over which we have no control.

We don’t want to admit to ourselves that we are out of control or that we cannot control every bit of our lives. If we are honest, that is a scary thought. And naturally we don’t want to give up our remaining control to God, which faith requires, which is trust, when we prefer self-reliance or trust in others. Many think the idea of ​​giving God all the power we have is shocking.

But the supremacy of love exists in letting go of that which can only harm us.

We must trust in this love that is found only in letting ourselves be loved. Self-love can never be a way of being loved.

What a cosmic paradox it is: we must let go of our self-love to understand how loved we are.

The very use we make of self-love suggests that we are in denial. Self love is used to combat its opposite. The use of self-love suggests that we need it, because we indulge in self-loathing. And because we indulge in self-loathing, we must now agree that self-love is a futile journey. It cannot work, because it comes from within us, that we hate ourselves. Do you follow logic?

We cannot be loved by someone who hates us.

If the love with which we love ourselves is partly hate, we really do not believe that that love is really love.

Somehow, deep inside each of us, we feel unworthy of unconditional love. God must prove to us that we are worthy of love. God did this on the cross.

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We need a love external to us; what you get beyond what our own resources can create.

A love that comes from within too often doubts its own sincerity.

And a broken love, a love from within the same brokenness, is destined to fail us the most when we feel most broken.

The love we need is love that is perfectly unconditional and eternally available: the truest and safest love known, which is also the only true and secure love. But this love is also more common for rejection. We reject it because, again, we hate depending on what is external to us, and we think that trusting it is difficult or ridiculous. You don’t feel safe. It feels like an excessive sacrifice.

External dependency is the relinquishment of control. We cannot control God, but neither can we control life. And we cannot experience God’s love without letting it go. However, it is the best risk we can take. This totally trustworthy love is 30, 60, 100 times better than any love we can claim to bestow on ourselves.

Self love is a road to nowhere but the unconditional love of God

it is paved like a golden road to the blood-soaked cross of Jesus Christ, and never departed from it.

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To confess our poverty of spirit, to empty ourselves of our pride and sin, is to carry our cross with Christ, identifying ourselves with Jesus, trusting that God knows best; and in this, the Holy Spirit fills us with the love of the Father, until the end of peace, hope and joy.

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The cross is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Knowing him is knowing love; how God came down to raise us up; the disconcerting depth of love in grace that forgives our guilt and frees us to live as if we were already in heaven.