What do I say when my ex calls me?
The phone call from the ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) … is one of the most critical points in a reconciliation. If you’re looking for a way to get back together again, getting your ex to call you should be to your liking. top priorities. By reestablishing contact with your ex-lover, you can gain valuable information about whether or not you want him back, whether you are ready to reconcile yet, or whether you are calling for some other reason.
If you’ve been on the receiving end of a breakup, chances are you still want to date your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend. You’ve probably tried the traditional methods of getting that person back: convincing them to get out of the breakup, writing down your feelings, calling them, or sending them long letters explaining why they should stay together. It is also very likely that all those things have failed, as they should. They are actually some of the worst moves you can make while trying to get an ex back.
By walking away from the breakup and leaving your ex to his own thoughts, you are allowing a lot of good things to happen. First, any anger or bitterness that either of you has will dissipate. Second, you both have time to think about things from a very different perspective: that of being totally alone. Third and most importantly, each of you will have the opportunity to miss each other. And the longer you wait without contacting your ex, the stronger the feelings of curiosity and longing become.
And then it happens: the phone call from the ex-girlfriend (or boyfriend). “What do I say when my ex calls me?” – It’s a great question. But while what you say is extremely important, what whose saying is equally true. And let’s not forget how you say things, another big factor in how well this phone call will go. Don’t be caught off guard, you want to learn what to say now so that it is fresh in your memory.
Things to avoid while on the phone with your ex:
* Being too excited
* Show anger or bitterness
* Any sign of despair
* Talking about the breakup
* Make demands or create deadlines
* Question your ex
* A confrontational tone
All of the above actions are relationship killers … they will change your ex very quickly, or make him or her go out with you entirely. Your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend called because they were curious … they want to know where you are and why you are not chasing them. There is a possibility that they want to get back together, or at least explore the option. But there is also the possibility that they are not ready yet. You need to learn the signs and signals your ex will broadcast when he’s ready to possibly reconcile. Being overly friendly, suggesting a meeting, asking about the current state of your relationship – these are all good signs, but there are many, many others.
So what should you say when your ex calls you? Something like this:
“Hey wow, it’s great to hear from you! How have you been?”
Let your ex speak here, tell you why he called you, maybe take some time with a little chat before you find out the real reason you have him on the phone. Whatever reason your ex gives for calling? Don’t challenge them. Let it happen to you and let your ex get comfortable with the fact that they called.
If your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend asks about you, let them know that you are doing great. Be vague about what you have been doing and do not give details. If you spill it all on the table, they may find that you’ll still “be around” for a while and they will quickly lose interest. But if your ex is wondering if you’ve moved on or if you met someone else … he or she will freak out about it. They may ask you more about it or offer to meet with you to talk some more. When your ex girlfriend or boyfriend calls you on the phone, you want always leave them wanting more. This will ensure another call, or better yet, lead to a reunion date.
After a few minutes of small talk (no more than 2-3), you’ll want to hang up the phone as quickly as possible. That’s when you say:
“Listen, I’m really sorry, but I have a million things going on right now. I have to run. Call me next week or something?”
Several things are accomplished with these three little lines. First, you are generating interest because you are apparently very busy. Your ex will wonder why you are busy and will also appreciate the fact that you stopped to talk to him, even for a little while.
Next, he was very vague about where he was going. Your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend will be naturally curious about exactly what you’re doing, but can’t bring herself to ask. Until they date you again, whatever you are doing is none of their business.
Another great thing: solo made your ex agree to call you again. This is huge, because it happened so fast that your ex couldn’t even disagree! He or she probably just nodded or muttered a quick “yes, okay.” Note that you didn’t offer to call back, you asked them to call you. It’s a pretty slick move that puts the ball in his court and puts you ahead when the phone rings again.
Finally, he dropped the words “next week” there. Like you’re so busy the rest of the week and I do not want to be disturbed. This is a tremendous seed that will grow and grow in your ex’s mind for the next few days. Are you dating someone else? Did you find another guy or girlfriend? These things will go through your ex’s mind, because he will naturally assume that you have something pretty good at stake. After all, you abandoned his phone call to run off and do something else.
Do you know what happened during this phone call? Your turned the tables and took control of the situation. When your ex broke up with you, they took full power over what happened next. You just had a big chunk of that power back. Your ex’s head is spinning with questions and it seems like you are in complete control. It almost seems like you don’t care less whether or not your ex calls next week, and that’s exactly what it should look like.
Never ask “What do I say when my ex calls me?” again. Know what to do. Take control of your breakup and turn it all around in a few sentences. By giving your ex his space, allowing him to miss you, and then letting your ex’s mind work overtime to figure out what’s going on in your world? You just took some giant steps to get back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend.