The road back to romance: 9 ways to save your marriage
If you are reading this article, chances are that you and your spouse have had a hard time. Maybe you’ve been married for years and don’t remember why you are together; Maybe you’ve only been married for a couple of years and have engagement issues or other issues. The good news is that there is another option besides divorce for you and your spouse and it is much less expensive, it can save your marriage.
However, there are certain things you need to do if you really want to relight the fire and it requires a commitment from both of you.
Steps to make a new commitment
The first thing that usually happens in a married couple that has gone south is a communication breakdown. You have stopped talking, you stop wondering about your day. Whether it’s because you’re both too busy or because you have too many things outdoors, like children’s activities, make an effort to set aside an hour each day for the two of you to just talk. The results will surprise you.
Another tip to make your marriage work is to stop worrying about the kids. We all understand that having a child can change the dynamics of a relationship. However, you must remember how the two of you initially came together and part ways with the role of father. They were both a couple first.
The third step is to start taking care of yourself again. Whether this applies to physical appearance or eating better, go for it, there will be a big change in how you feel about each other. Return the romance.
You know what it felt like when you started dating, the romantic gestures, you opened the doors for her, and she had special nicknames for you. Bring all that back! We know that busy schedules can cause a break in romantic gestures, but make a special effort to do something romantic every day. You will stir up feelings that have been lost over time.
Then define what is yours, hers and ours. Too many times marriages break down because one of the partners feels suffocated or feels as if there is a loss of identity. Encourage your partner to pursue a hobby that interests him or to take a weekend with the girls. The time away to foster separate interests makes them that much more eager to get home with you.
The sixth step is to always remember to be polite and give feedback to your partner in a courteous way. Being harsh with criticism will make them avoid opening up to you. Instead, try to give constructive criticism and remember to consider your feelings.
Commit to a date night every week. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to spend quality time with your spouse. Have a picnic or go for a walk, try something different to add some adventure and spontaneity to your relationship.
The next two steps are very important. First, commit to doing an annual evaluation of your marriage. Performance reviews happen in every other part of our lives, so why not one of the most important pieces, your marriage? Take your time, sit down together and provide open and honest information to your partner, what do you need? What are you happy with? What are you unhappy with? Putting all problems on the table and being honest avoids repressing problems or repressing feelings.
Finally, always understand that marriage is a changeable thing. Always feel that the contract is pending negotiation. If you feel neglected or have bad feelings, tell your partner. Communication is always the key to a long and happy life together.