Seven keys to happiness
This article summarizes much of what I have learned so far on my journey to self-discovery and positive growth. Along the way, through many of life’s ups and downs, with the help of many incredible teachers and mentors, I now more often than not live in a state of happiness and contentment. I still have a lot to learn, but I wanted to share with you what I have found most useful so far. I truly believe that all people have the ability to choose their mental attitude. Therefore, if happiness is what you want, then you must choose it. Here are some helpful ideas to help you do just that.
1. Self-esteem
Self-worth: Without it, happiness will always be beyond your reach. Self-esteem is, of course, something that can be measured along a continuum. It’s not that you have it or you don’t. You can possess various degrees and those degrees can vary according to the circumstances of your life.
In general, the person who is happiest has a fair amount of self-esteem without an inflated view of their own importance. This is the fine line to walk between confidence and arrogance.
Trust implies a certain sense of security while recognizing that each of us is just a different piece in a very big wheel. No person is more important than another. Those with high self-esteem know their life purpose. They are in tune with what their mission is and proceed to make it their life’s work. They also recognize the value of everyone else with whom they share space.
Those who are arrogant recognize their own worth but then look down on those they deem unworthy. Then, at the other end of the continuum, there are those who recognize the importance of others but don’t believe they are worthy of breathing air.
A healthy balance of self-esteem is key.
two. Gratitude
The second key to happiness is gratitude. It is human nature to list things that are NOT the way we want them to be. We are programmed to notice when things are wrong, and not necessarily appreciate when everything is the way we want. This makes maintaining an attitude of gratitude a challenge, but something we must strive for nonetheless. I mentioned before that Universal Law tells us that we attract those things we think about most often. When we are grateful for what we have, more is given to us.
I know someone who believes that “no good deed goes unpunished” and lives his life accordingly. Another person I know always says, “I have the worst luck. Nothing good ever happens to me.” And you know what? They are correct! The Universe gives you exactly what you expect. There are others who have similar bad luck but persevere or find the lesson in the situation. These people find more happiness and satisfaction in return.
Another point about gratitude is to be thankful for what you have. I love the line in the song that goes, “It’s not about having what you want, it’s about wanting what you’ve got!” There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make yourself better than you are, as long as you’re grateful along the way. Even when things go wrong, there is always something good in them. Life is in perfect balance and order. Anything with a great deal of pain associated with it also has a tremendous positive side if we are willing to see it.
3. positive life frame
The third key to happiness is to frame life positively. There are three ways to view any piece of information: positive, negative, or neutral. Viewing information as neutral is the best way to live life. It allows us to accept everything as it comes and stop resisting what really is in each moment. However, many of us have great difficulty with that.
As an incremental step, it is helpful to find a way to reframe negative life events into positive ones. Even in the tragedies of life, there is a way to find something positive in the situation. Almost always, in hindsight, we can see the benefit. The real benefit comes when we are able to see the benefit as the tragedy unfolds, or at least remain open to the idea that there is a benefit, even if you can’t see it at the time. Just as in physics where there can’t be a neutron without a proton, so it is with life where there can’t be a negative event without a corresponding positive.
4. internal locus of control
The fourth key to happiness is having an internal locus of control. People who have an internal locus of control believe that they are responsible for their own behavior and its results based on their own decisions and personal efforts. This is contrasted with those that have an external locus of control. These individuals believe that their behavior is determined by external circumstances such as other people, fate, luck, or circumstances beyond their control.
Having an internal locus of control produces a “can do” attitude. An external locus of control often results in a helpless attitude. Although people with an internal locus of control still have situations that occur that are out of their control, they will look for some action they can take to improve the situation. They don’t waste time lamenting the fact that something bad has happened to them. They look for opportunities for decisive action to change things.
In this way, a person is more in charge of his own destiny. They can reject the role of victim and take definite steps to create greater life satisfaction.
5. lifelong learning
The fifth key to happiness is to adopt an attitude of lifelong learning. Your goal every day should be to learn something new. As you encounter new people and situations, look for the wisdom that can be drawn from them. Particularly in areas where we think we’ve made a “mistake,” seek to uncover the lesson. There is always a lesson to learn.
When we think we know everything there is to know, that’s when we’re in dangerous territory. When we think we know it all, we stop learning from the people and situations in our path. When we stop looking for the lessons, we begin to blame things outside of ourselves for the pain we experience instead of seeking to learn what we need to know for our life’s journey.
6. Love
Love is the sixth key to happiness. I’m not talking about having an important person in your life who loves you. I am talking about having love within you that is pouring out of you to touch others. Unconditional love is a concept that we all strive for; Unfortunately, most of us seek to receive rather than give. You are truly lucky and blessed when you have the unconditional love of someone, be it your life partner, your mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, foster parent, friend or puppy!
Truly unconditional love is rare and a gift to be cherished. However, ask yourself the question, how many times have you provided unconditional love? Do you have unconditional love for your fellow man? This is the kind of love that will lead to happiness. It doesn’t matter if that special someone doesn’t love you, what matters is what’s in YOUR heart. Are you someone who only loves as much as you feel loved in return? That is certainly not unconditional! If you are looking for love in your life, then you must be loving in order to attract the love you seek. This will lead to the greatest happiness: loving without expecting anything in return. Try it.
7. Contribution
The last key to happiness is contribution. This is a combination of knowing and following one’s life purpose. When people understand their divine purpose in this life and then dedicate themselves to fulfilling that purpose, they are making an amazing contribution to the good of humanity. Having a meaningful job and leaving a legacy is an important key to happiness. When we do the work we need to do, we touch lives. It doesn’t matter if one’s purpose is to clean public restrooms or find the cure for AIDS, following your divine purpose will bring great satisfaction in life that cannot be experienced otherwise. Contribution is fundamental to happiness.
Implementing these seven keys to happiness in one’s life is no easy task. Personal training can be helpful when you’re trying to trade some old, harmful habits for more productive, happiness-inducing ones. Jack Canfield says, “Of all the things successful people do to accelerate their journey down the road to success, participating in some type of coaching program is at the top of the list. A coach will help you clarify your vision and goals, will support you in overcoming your fears, staying focused, confronting your unconscious behaviors and old patterns, expecting you to do your best, helping you live by your values, showing you how to earn more by working less, and staying focused on your core genius” . Why not give it a try?
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