Love and money: how your past can haunt your future

We all have a past. None of us emerged from the ground and appeared as an adult. This is especially true when it comes to money. Whether we always had money and never cared about it or never had money and always cared about it, the way we saw our parents deal with money has left an indelible mark on our lives. They are evident in our beliefs about money and that affects our relationship with our partner for better and for worse.

1. Who was my biggest influence? This answer may surprise you. Your biggest influence may not even have been in your house. Could it have been the absent father? The one who was blamed because if they had been there things wouldn’t have been better? Did you learn that you can never trust anyone else? Or did you learn that you have to make sure you make the right decision so they don’t walk away? Think about your beliefs about money for a moment and ask yourself where you learned that from and how it is affecting you now.
2. What was the first thing you realized that money was important? She closes her eyes and tries to remember it as vividly as possible. How old were you? Who was there? What was happening? Why was it so important that it was your first memory? Get as detailed as possible. What were the views? sounds? Feelings? The last thing is what did this first event teach you?
3. Did you think you were rich or poor? What about your friends? Other members of your family? This question will look at your relationships and how they may have shaped some of your beliefs.
4. What were your thoughts about money growing up? What did you dream your life would be like as an adult? Was it because of the money you had or the money you didn’t have? What relationship did money play in your immediate family? Was there ever a time when you didn’t have enough and what happened then?
5. Has anyone ever taught you how to handle money? If they did, what was the lesson? If they didn’t, where did you learn your beliefs about money? What roles did you learn that men and women should play in a relationship regarding money?

Now that you’ve answered the questions, then what’s next? Well this is really about self-discovery. What did the answers reveal about how you handle money today? Now that you have the answers, look at your beliefs. If they are helping you grow and achieve more love, then keep them. If they are limiting you and pushing people away, then you should discard them.

Well how do you do that? It simply replaces those old beliefs with new ones. Make sure to tell yourself the opposite of what your limiting beliefs are every day. Let me give you an example. You may not believe that you will ever be rich or have money. If that is your belief, you have probably done things or made decisions in your life to make that come true. Replace that with “I deserve to be rich and have the best things in life.” Now just saying it won’t make it happen, but it will at least help you get in the right mindset. You have to tell yourself this every day because it will take some time to reprogram your mind.

We all have a past. No one appears as an adult out of nowhere. The good news is that now, for the first time in your life, you can be aware of where your beliefs come from and what you can do to overcome them. The saying is true: “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Replace those limiting beliefs with new beliefs and gain the wealth you deserve and bring that person into your relationship.