Is loneliness real? Deal with it!

The first time I was faced with loneliness was when I finished high school and went to college in a different country. Everything was fine while I was at the airport saying goodbye and getting all the hugs and kisses. But once I was alone on the plane, reality hit me and I became a mouse in a room full of hungry cats. I was scared out of my mind. The human mind only needs a little push to jump off the cliff and during the flight I almost went crazy. What if I get lost, what if they don’t let me leave the airport, how do I find the hotel, thousands of questions flew through my mind and no one could help me. Somehow I managed not only to get out of the airport but to get to my hotel.

I was afraid of getting lost, so I didn’t leave the hotel until the next day to catch a bus to the university. Once there I felt safe and believed that I would not have any more problems. Big mistake, nobody paid attention to me, nobody cared if I died in the middle of a hall and felt terribly alone. After a couple of months of the same routine, I couldn’t take it anymore, I hadn’t said more than fifty words a day and spent time waiting for my family to call me so I could speak and be heard. I decided that I had to do something or kill myself. I started going out to the school grounds sitting under a tree reading a book. After a while people noticed me and started greeting me and before long we had a real conversation and they invited me to go places.

The point of this is that loneliness is in our minds, it is not physical, it is not real, it is a figment of our imagination that makes us feel sorry for ourselves. Man has always lived in communities where he has interacted with others permanently. In fact, there were communities that punished bad actions or attitudes by expelling the criminal forever from their lands, condemning him to live alone for the rest of his life. It is possible that over time our brain has evolved to consider that being alone is bad and that there is some kind of problem with people who accept and appreciate the time they are alone.

Many years later I was hired to start and build a farm in the middle of nowhere. There were no roads; there was no electricity not even running water. The first time I went to the place I walked thirty kilometers through the bush until I found a suitable place to pitch my tent. I lived there for eight months alone most of the time working and talking to myself. This time there was no fear, no worry, no problem; I was at peace with myself and used the time to read, to grow, and to understand myself. The best lesson I learned there was that people felt lonely because they wanted to and not because they were really alone.

Again, loneliness is a state of mind and it’s up to you to get out or keep feeling miserable. If you want to see people, look out the window and be envious because you are not alone. If you want to meet people, take a shower, put on nice clothes and smile. There are many people who would be honored to talk to you, to meet you, to learn the way. But you have to give them a chance, you have to go out and find them. If you’re scared to do it, all you have to do is head to the nearest bar, order a beer, and talk to the bartender. It’s part of their job to listen to you. Use it to practice and regain your speaking skills.

You feel lonely because you want to be alone. You’re a good person; a person who has a lot to give and a lot to receive as well. It is your responsibility and no one else to make you happy. Take a chance and do it, you will be rewarded for success. The world is for the brave, not for the cowards. When he was a little boy taking his first steps, he fell and got up; You fell again and again you got up. There was no fear, there were no worries. Nothing has changed, you are the same person; take the first step and then another and another. Don’t be afraid, most people are good even if they don’t feel or look like it. The sound of a bullet is very loud and defined, the sound of a smile and a pleasant word are silent. For every bullet or hard word that hurts someone, millions of smiles and good words make people happy and erase loneliness from their lives. Take a chance, come out into the light; it is a great place to be.