I don’t know where I’m going!

Have you started yelling already or are you so completely unmotivated that even yelling out your anger and frustration is completely beyond you?

Do you envy people who seem to have their lives in order and know exactly what they are doing, where they are going, and why? The wretches who fly through the city in a flurry of activity accomplishing all kinds of wonders, while you sit there watching TV wondering what the hell happened to your getting up and leaving and why you have no sense of direction.

I was there and I escaped, that’s how.

Relax and find a starting point

If you have never considered changing your life, it is unlikely that you know what you want. So instead of panicking because you don’t have a specific, identifiable dream that goes back to your crib, start by asking the right question: what makes me happy?

Pursue and choose happiness

It is all very well to have a big dream that will give you mega dollars, but if you hate what you are choosing to do to get money, then you will not put your heart and soul into it. So right now, make the decision that if you are going to change your life, you are going to change it for the better in pursuit of happiness.

Be flexible

You are unlikely to find the perfect thing right away, so get ready to go on a journey of discovery and learning. I guarantee that once you find your address you will understand why you took all the steps you took to get there, even the ‘wrong ones’ will have taught you something, maybe something that you don’t want.

Be honest with yourself

You don’t have to tell anyone else what you have in mind, but if you are not honest with yourself, you will build your new future based on your own lie.

Do not give up

Sometimes you will feel like it, but if you do, ask yourself if you are really ready to be happy. You may be holding yourself back out of fear.

Change you

You will be aware of the saying “if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always had”, but I would go further and say that if you do not change yourself as a person then it is unlikely. that you will change your actions.

Be buddhist

Buddhists suggest that you do everything for the journey and not for the destination, so don’t write a book to publish, write it because you love to write and then figure out the rest. If you are not enjoying the journey to your dream, then you are not dreaming of the right future.

Visualize

Daydream about your new future in as much detail as you can, make it come true in your mind, and visualize yourself living that future as a reality. This will keep your mind focused on your dreams and ambitions and is a very simple way to stay on track.

Close your ears

There is always someone who will tell you that you are wrong, don’t bother trying, people like us are not successful, etc. Close your ears, focus on that dream and keep moving forward. If you listen to them and hold back, then there is only one person who will not achieve the happiness they want, and that is you. Never forget that misery loves company and you don’t want to be its companion.

Remember that life is a journey

Even if you think you know what you want right now, you will grow and develop as a human being and you may get bored and ready to move on. Enjoy the journey that has multiple destinations, none of which are finite, all of which are destined to take you to the end of your life with a wealth of successful and enjoyable experiences behind you. There is more than one route from A to Z, hit the back roads and enjoy every aspect of the trip.

Happiness is the only destiny

Throughout your journey, test every decision, every relationship, every job with a simple question: “Will it make me happy / will it make me happy?” If so, continue, if not, stop. It really is as simple as that.

It’s not too late!

Yes, some are born knowing what they want to be when they grow up, and that can mean they are stuck in a rut early in life. While I didn’t even start dreaming until I was 30 and now in my mid-50s, life has never been this exciting. I appreciate the fact that my life is getting more and more interesting and dynamic, it keeps me young. So never think that you are too old for adventure.

Escape from your comfort zone

What’s out of your comfort zone? Your adventure zone! Go boldly where no one has gone before and treat it like an adventure, not a terrifying roller coaster ride!

Finally

Not everyone is born with a dream, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create one!

Deb hawken

Author of “Who am I, where am I, what is this place?” as of spring 2014