His deal breakers: is he just testing you?

There are many reasons why a girl breaks up with a guy. And in most cases her intentions are pretty clear: she just wants to “get out” because this whole ordeal isn’t up to her expectations. However, no matter how cutting and dry a woman’s motives may seem, there is one specific reason that should be pointed out before giving up: is she putting you through “the test”? And if it is… how can you make sure you pass?

Well, first we need to define what exactly is this “test” I’m referring to. In the simplest of descriptions, it’s a woman’s way of telling a guy it’s time for him to step it up or it’s time for him to get lost… an indirect “all or nothing” proposition. so to speak. What does this mean? To be blunt: she wants a solid commitment (engagement/marriage).

So how can you be sure that the reasons for your breakup are simply part of a test? It is really not that difficult. All you need to do is take 3 things into consideration:

1. The duration of the relationship

2. His age

3. The marital status of your closest friends and immediate family (for example, sisters)

For example, if you have been together for several years (2-5+) and you are in your 20s-30s, then it is quite possible that the reason she broke up with you was simply to “surprise” her. you in the compromise.

Another thing to consider: are you in your early thirties? Because many single women naturally panic at this point in their lives because their body clocks are ticking. They want to get married and have children.

And finally, if most of her friends are married or engaged but she’s still single… it should be painfully obvious to you that she wants to “jump on the bandwagon.”

So, let’s say that the circumstances of your relationship fit the above criteria (sort of) and you’ve come to the conclusion that the reasons for your breakup were nothing more than a test. How to proceed to recover it?

Simple… give him what he wants, but give it tactfully. The first thing you should do is face her. Tell her that you realize why she broke up with you and that you’re ready to settle down, but she sets a strict date. Don’t leave things up in the air or you will soon give him another reason to break up.

If he accepts… great… mission accomplished. However, if she rejects your proposal, don’t give up hope just yet. She understands that it will take some time to get her to trust your seriousness to commit and overcome her shattered sense of pride (after all, you’ve rejected her one way or another). But with a good dose of patience and firm steps in the right direction, you’ll eventually be able to overcome her resistance and turn her grievances into nothing more than a vague memory of the past.