Should you masturbate before going out on a date?
If you’ve seen the movie There’s Something About Mary, you’re probably familiar with the conversation between Ben Stiller and Chris Elliott about “The Loaded Gun Theory.”
Essentially, the premise is that when you’re dating a woman, it’s probably a good idea to masturbate instead of showing up at her door with only one thing on your mind.
Well, when this particular topic came up in conversation recently (sorry for the pun intended), I decided to do some research.
It turns out that, assuming you phrase your Google search in a way that doesn’t result in a barrage of “adult” sites, you’ll quickly find that almost everyone who has thought about the subject of the day has come to the same conclusion: it is better to masturbate before going on a hot date.
The reasons cited are generally two:
1) Take the “pressure” off
2) If something physical happened on the date, you would be less likely to experience premature ejaculation.
Of course, conventional wisdom would point out that this is all sound logic. But not so fast.
The problem with “conventional wisdom,” as Freakonomics author Steven Levitt so eloquently pointed out, is that it usually rests on the EASIEST conclusion to draw rather than the one that might be the CORRECT one.
And the more I consider the “Loaded Gun Theory”, the more I begin to believe that there is more to think about than what is on the surface.
In fact, I’d like to challenge you to consider whether it really is better to store it for a few days before a particularly anticipated meeting with a woman. This is why.
First of all, I have a slight suspicion that when we as men are physically primed for sexual arousal, we may radiate a more sexual (read: “masculine”) presence physiologically.
Forget about “pheromone spray”, gentlemen. My intuition is that when you are completely “in the mood”, women can somehow feel that… and the woman in them “wakes up” physiologically.
Like I said, I couldn’t really find anything to support this hypothesis on Google, but consider some of the rumors surrounding MOTOS (Members of the Opposite Sex) based on their various possible states of sexual readiness, hormone levels, etc.
In fact, women tend to spend more time thinking about these kinds of things, and some of the ideas that have gained traction over the years include how women tend to have a certain “glow” about them when they are pregnant, and how when a woman is at her MOST FERTILE point in her monthly cycle, she is ALSO at her sexual peak… even, perhaps, as the men around her subconsciously acknowledge.
So here it is: considering that we are all human beings here, why would a similar but gender-specific set of premises not hold for us as men?
Also, I believe that if you are more sexually attuned to the moment, you are more likely to feel much more excitement in your soul when you date an attractive woman. And that kind of energy can lead to some serious fireworks (the key word is “lead,” as always).
The analogy of what happens when you go shopping when you’re hungry may not be too far off here. If you’ve just visited an all-you-can-eat buffet, you’re more likely to put off going to the grocery store until tomorrow.
But if you missed lunch and are starving, you probably can’t wait to go grocery shopping.
In fact, I’ve tried the ideas I’ve just described with several women over the past few days, and they ALL agreed with me… ASSUMING the guy was mature enough to stay in control of things.
It goes like this: Women really LOVE it when a man exudes primal sexuality on a date.
What they do NOT love is when guys act like Neanderthals. They don’t like to feel pressured and/or “used.”
So I have a feeling that “personal control” may indeed do the trick here.
Let’s be honest; If you’re hungry when you go to the grocery store, you can spend double the money on things you’ll probably never be able to eat before they go bad. But ONLY if you lack discipline.
And yes, if you’re about to punch a hole in your mattress when you bump into a woman, you might get “tunnel vision” and seem overly sex-focused or even DESPERATE when you’re with her. .
But again… that will ONLY be true if you lack discipline.
What we have here, gentlemen, could actually be a very real LITMUS TEST by which we can measure whether or not we have MASTERY over our own sexuality or not.
That’s heavy work, isn’t it?
If you can’t take the heat, then yeah…you probably better masturbate before a date.
But that would be his loss.
Because considering that women are actually THRILLED TO THE CORE to be in the presence of a man who is both sexually charged and self-disciplined, if you CAN maintain your composure when you’re in that state, you may very well have a VERY advantage. POWERFUL over most others. guys over there.
And I’m not going to rule out that this may be another piece of the puzzle as to why older men may attract younger women who think men their own age are “so immature.”
As for the premature ejaculation part of the argument, by the way, even that may be less of a problem than you think.
Contrary to popular belief (again that “conventional wisdom”), a woman may actually be FLATTERED if her first time together takes off quickly. I can guarantee that she beats the opposite scenario.
Also, if she’s that hot, don’t you think you’d have a “round two” somewhere?
What do you think? Can you field test everything we’re talking about here without freaking out? Can you believe that a woman can, in fact, respond to you in a whole new and powerful way?
At the very least, I can assure you that if you CAN handle all of this and apply it, you will be operating at a level that most men cannot reach. And you’ll probably enjoy dating him a lot more, as he becomes the newly crowned world champion in building sexual tension.
After all, what man does NOT want to get every advantage available when it comes to separating himself from the “pack” and realizing the ability to attract the highest quality women on Earth?