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How to get it back – Basics

How to get it back – Basics

Going through a breakup is difficult and when it comes to getting your ex back, we often make costly mistakes that push them further away from us rather than closer to us. It is important to understand that our emotions will often lead us to say or do the wrong things during a breakup. This is why it is so vital that you don’t contact your ex immediately after a breakup. You need some time to think of a strategy to get your ex back.

Before we get to work on how to get it back, you need to understand why exactly your ex broke up with you in the first place. After all, you have to fix the source of the problem if you ever plan on getting your ex back. This will require some change on your part, but it is a change that you must be willing to make. There’s no point in trying to get your man back if you don’t plan on changing in the long run. If not, you will eventually have another heart rupture.

Let’s explore the reasons why men leave. It is something that most women do during their first dates and it is an everyday human emotion that most people cannot live without. Usually after the magic of the relationship wears off, women forget to do it. I’m talking about admiration … men want to feel admired!

This sounds so simple but it is true. Surveys and relationship studies showed various reasons why men leave a relationship, but Dr. John Gray and other experts concluded that men primarily begin to lose interest and will eventually leave a relationship when they stop feeling admired.

We often see in movies the guy who walks away with a prettier face, but that’s far from the truth. It’s not about looks at all. A smiling, happy, and giggling co-worker who showers you with compliments and smiles every time he walks into the room is an incredible admiration generator and it turns on for a man who does NOT feel admired at home.

It doesn’t mean you have to go around like a nervous, giggling schoolgirl to get your man back. Not at all … men measure how well they are doing in a relationship and how “admired” they are for how happy their wife seems to be with them.

Think about it. When you first put your man on, you shower him with smiles and compliments, but as the relationship wears down, you start to form other habits that wear him down. How to scold.

Now you can believe that you filled him with admiration and that it was something else that destroyed you … that may be true. So let’s explore other reasons that could have caused the breakup.

Insecure and needy

This will work against any man. If you are overly needy and insecure, the man feels like he needs to take on a role like that of a father. Which is really unappealing to many men.

Sometimes it will be perceived as if you chose it simply because you wanted to be loved by someone else and not because of your own unique qualities.

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Your man wants to be the alpha, but at the same time he wants a woman who is independent and has a vulnerable and soft side. But if you are too stiff or cold, this will directly challenge his masculinity. It doesn’t mean you have to submit to his every whim … find the right balance and you’ll have your man eating out of your hands.

Boring routine

It’s common for couples to get caught up in the same boring routine every weekend. Picking up a new hobby or trying things your man is interested in will spice up your relationship.

Now that you understand why the relationship ended … the next step is to work on how to get it back.

You’ll probably feel like you need to contact your ex immediately after a breakup to let them know how much you feel and how much you love them, but doing so will only make the situation worse. If you’ve already done this, you know it will only make you angry and argue over the breakup.

This is why you need to take a real break from your ex. I mean, no contact with your ex for 3 weeks! Texting, emails, chatting or any other form of contact is not allowed.

The ‘no contact rule’ is the most important step in getting your ex back for a number of reasons. It gives you time to clear your mind and cool down your emotions … and it gives you time to reevaluate your relationship. Why exactly do you want to get back together with your ex? I hate to tell you this, but sometimes it’s better to leave things as they are … and you’ll know when it’s time to move on, I’ll cover that later.

During your 3 weeks of no contact, there are a few things you can do to help improve not only how you feel on the inside, but also how you look on the outside. So now is the time to start hanging out with friends, going on dates (yes, you can go on small dates, that’s healthy for you), hitting the gym, and keeping busy at work.

The first thing you should do … is exercise! Exercise releases endorphins, which act as antidepressants. It will make you more physically attractive, keep your mind busy, and increase your confidence levels.

Now, during the “no contact” time period, your ex may call you. It’s okay for the ex to initiate contact first. Do you see the catchphrase, “Your ex initiates contact first,” and not the other way around? If you call, it’s okay to answer, but here are some key things to keep in mind when your ex contacts you:

Do –

Keep the conversation short (10 minutes maximum). Make sure you finish the conversation first. Be polite and say “I’m going with a friend, I’ll call you later.” You don’t want to sound bitter when you say this.

The same rule above applies when you meet him in person.

Don’t call him back right away. Wait about a day or a day and a half.

Make small talk about whatever it is, but never bring up the relationship or breakup unless he initiates it first.

Act upbeat and happy.

Is not –

NEVER be their emotional support! It needs to heal itself. During a breakup, some men use their ex-girlfriends as a way to get over a breakup or as a sex toy. You may think that being his emotionally to him will bring you back together … this is simply not true. Unless he’s committed to you … You must NOT sleep with him.

Act angry, depressed, sad, or rude on the phone. The most important thing is that you do not beg him to take you back.

Don’t ask if he’s dating or sleeping with other women. Or brag about how many guys are flirting with you.

Mention something about the relationship. (Unless he starts the conversation first)

Right now is the best time to find out whether the relationship you want to save is worth it or not. Sometimes it will do you more good than harm if you move on with your life. Here is a method you can use to determine whether or not you want your ex back.

This is a popular method that millions of people use today for various problems. It’s simple, take a sheet of paper and draw a line in the middle. On one side write ‘Pros’ (positive) and on the other side write ‘Cons’ (negative). Then start writing down all the positives and negatives of your relationship with your ex. Compare and think about what you have written on the piece of paper.

Remember, no one else can make this decision except you!

If you’ve decided that your relationship is worth saving, congratulations, as you are ready to embark on your quest to win your man back. What you have just learned is the starting point. Following the steps above will ensure that it comes back to you, but now you need to learn more about how to reestablish the deep connection you once had. And you can find out how to do that and more below.

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