How dog poop caught a criminal
The Scratch and Sniff Animal Shelter in a small town in Iowa had been looking for someone to volunteer to care for the dogs and cats on their premises. Specifically, they wanted someone to volunteer to pick up waste from the walking dogs.
A man in his forties entered the shelter to volunteer for the position. His name was Kurt Bass, who had been a minor league pitcher for a local town. The director of the animal center warmly thanked him for his volunteering and wondered if he could start that day.
Meanwhile, a violent criminal with more than 100 robberies, murders and money laundering on his criminal record sheet was being pursued by seven police officers. The man whose name was “Joe Manzini” was driving an old Ford Dart at speeds of up to 95 mph. This “public enemy # 1” drifted and became unpretentious in many places, but the police followed. Finally, the man veered down a short road with many curves. But, Manzini decided to brake and jump to head into a forest on his left.
Back at the shelter, Kurt was on “poop patrol.” She was instructed to wear latex gloves to pick things up and put them in the handy trash cans around the area.
A boy saw the local star picking up the batteries and recognized him. He asked his mother if he could go out to meet him and she gave it to him. When he met his “favorite player”, he told him he was a fan of his pitching skills. He asked him why he left baseball to go after dogs, to whom he replied, “I wanted to do something else with my arm.”
The boy then asked why he couldn’t just throw things over the fence that was 12 feet high at the back of the area. Kurt said, “Well, they didn’t tell me not to.” The boy asked if he could see him pitch again. Kurt thought about showing it to him when he saw a mound nearby. He said to the boy, “Don’t tell anyone I did this.”
So the former ballplayer took his position and released the stinky thing. He flew over the fence. The boy was amazed by it; I’ve never seen dog poop fly.
When Joe fled the car into the woods, he saw a clearing that led to a high fence. He thought that he had misled the police, so he was about to run towards the fence, when a piece of puppy hit him, covering his face completely. He screamed and cursed when the smelly substance hit him hard.
The police had seen his car with no one inside, except that the left door had been opened. As the cops crowded around the car, they heard someone yelling and cursing. They marched into the woods and saw Joe with excrement covering his face. Officers were shocked to see their public enemy number one shouting four-letter words that alluded to the disorder on his face.
“What happened here?” the police captain asked the criminal. He told him the material came out of nowhere and hit him in the face behind a 12-foot fence. An investigation was mounted on how the poop got flying over a fence. Of course, the one who threw the poop was local minor league baseball pitcher, Kurt Bass. Now he was a local hero.
After a week, reporters from the major national newspapers wrote about this event. Some of the titles included: “The Greatest Pitch Outside in Minor League History”, “Poop Toss Outside the Stadium”, “It Sucks to be Public Enemy No. 1”. In an interview with Kurt on “Good Morning America,” he was asked how he felt about his heroics. He replied, “It’s all on the wrist. Also, in his case, it’s not how you throw that counts, but what you throw.”