How did I get over my breakup?
Getting over a breakup or divorce is never easy. Especially if you have been together for more than a year or more. I was with my ex for 14 months and we moved in together for 1-2 months and finally realized we weren’t meant to be together. So we broke up about 2 months ago.
She was a very nice girl, very pretty too. A lot of guys like her. I’m sure she won’t have a hard time finding another guy to go out with. Considering all the qualities she has, I thought the breakup would probably destroy me. Especially thinking about how hard my last breakup was, it wasn’t the best thing I could experience in life. However, I am really surprised at how I reacted to this breakup and at the same time dealt with it. I started to wonder why I am acting this way. I think I came up with something that I would like to share with everyone here.
1. I have gained priorities and Purpose!
Financial advisor is my full time job. What I always tell my clients is that financial planning is about prioritizing the most important things in life because many times we cannot achieve all financial goals or needs at the same time. Therefore, selecting the ones that are most important to you and your family and taking care of them right away is key, such as setting up your defense planning, such as life insurance, etc. Now, I can relate this to handling relationship issues as well. I’m sure you’ve all heard that a man before thirty shouldn’t get married because he doesn’t know what he really wants from a woman. The same rule applies to a woman. I really think so! Every time I met a girl, I felt like she was the one for her, but after 2 months of relationship, I completely changed my thoughts about her. That said, I am a big believer in dating as many people as possible before I turn thirty. That way, you can filter out the types of guys or girls you don’t want to be with. So the day you turn thirty, if you’re still not sure what you’re looking for, at least you’ll have a better idea of what you don’t want. And believe me, this way is much better than if you find out after marrying that person that there is no way you can live with them for the rest of your life.
Since we now know that we can’t really settle down before thirty, we have to find something more important to do, right? Well, how about you focus on your career? And think about the kind of people you’ll be hanging out with when you’re most successful. it will be different Nothing is more important than your career or pursuing your goals in life, especially before thirty! And this is my priority. To be honest with you, I just found out what my purpose in life is. Since I have determined my purpose, everything I have been doing revolves around that purpose. AND NOTHING ELSE MATTERS! If you’re explaining your purpose to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and they seem to have no idea what the hell you’re talking about, it’s time to move on. If she/he left you, then there is nothing you should feel bad about. It is simply because they are on a different path than you, yours is the path to success. So let’s take care of your career first and then everything else will come after that.
2. Don’t be sad, get excited!
How many times have you broken up with someone? Probably a few times or many times for some people. And how many times have you met someone new since then? It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to find that person because we all have many soul mates in this world and eventually we will all find the one. Oh, how many times have you said to yourself or someone, “If it wasn’t for my last breakup, I wouldn’t have found the person I’m with right now!” Everything happens for a reason! Even your breakup! Maybe it was just because there is someone better waiting for you! Think about who you’re going to meet next! What does that person look like? How tall is that person? and how will they meet? You can even try to visualize the perfect match for you! So get excited who you’re going to meet next! Maybe he/she is the one for you! This is how you can live in the future instead of the past!
3. Learn from it!
The relationship is like a job. After being fired from your job, what do you usually do? you’re trying to figure out why you got fired. If you are honest with yourself, you will know the exact reason for it. And it doesn’t matter if it was your fault or not. You learn from your mistakes! This is how you grow! You can even learn from other people’s mistakes, which is even better because you don’t have to go through the consequences of mistakes. you will take a little of something you learned in your next relationship. When you’re thirty or older, you’ll be a much better match for your soul mate! Remember, don’t complain or blame others, it’s always your fault because you made that decision, so learn from it!
4. Never settle!
This happens when you are on the rebound. You feel so sad and angry that you feel like you absolutely have to find someone to replace your ex. I’ve seen it too many times among my friends. people tend to settle for less when they’re rebounding. It’s not a bad idea to date someone, but it’s a horrible idea to get involved with someone you don’t think you’ll love. Take your time dating and see what’s out there. You will always be surprised who you meet next. And remember, there is always someone for you!
5. Stay busy!
I understand that sometimes you feel lonely. You were with that special person for a long time. You guys did everything together. And suddenly you are alone. all by yourself and doing everything by yourself. This is when you really want to pick up the phone and dial that familiar number you’ve already memorized in your head or on your cell phone’s speed dial. Do not even think about it! You have to keep busy. Go out with friends. Follow your dreams. Get out of the house. Stop watching chic movies! Connect and chat with people. There are so many things you can do to keep yourself busy. When you’re busy at work, you tend to think about your ex a lot less. Stay Focused!
6. Go out with the right mindset
This is especially for the guys in the Bay Area where the ratio is not in their favor! How many times have you been rejected in bars by girls? How does it feel to be rejected again after your breakup? What do you want to do when you get home from the bars? you call that familiar number again because you feel like you will never find someone like your ex. you want to get that person back so you don’t have to work for them. I’m not completely against going out to bars. In fact, I go out almost every weekend. I’m just suggesting you go out and have a good time, period. If something happens, great! If not, don’t worry about it, just enjoy being outside.
7. Join many social networks or dating sites!
Today, dating and social networking have never been easier. there are millions of sites that help you meet new people. Many of them are free, like myspace.com, facebook.com, and even Reboundersworld.com. Even if you have to pay $20 or $30 a month, it’s worth it. Just think about how much your bar tabs cost each month and you can do the math yourself. many people still consider online dating to be for losers. I tell them: “Welcome to the 21st century!” People are so busy these days that we don’t have time to go out every night to look for dates. Also, think about the kind of people you meet in bars if you’re looking for something serious. At least you know people are already interested in meeting someone if they put their profiles online and say I’m looking for someone to DATE! How obvious can it be?! It’s like having an ad in the newspaper to promote your product. People will contact you if they are interested in buying without going door to door.
8. Bounce Dates!
Traditionally, people think of rebound dating as a very negative thing. Why would someone do something so bad to hurt someone else? Usually when rebound dating turns bad it’s because a rebounder is dating someone who isn’t on the rebound. Most of the time, the two people are probably looking for different things at the moment. In other words, they have different expectations of each other. However, the benefit of rebound dating is to help you get over your previous relationship, which is huge for someone who has just experienced a painful breakup. So how can we have a healthy rebound relationship? The key is to be honest with each other and talk about the possibility of not staying together in the near future. Make sure you are both well and aware of the possible outcome of this relationship. The best thing to do is if you can find someone who is also on the rebound. That way you guys will be on the same page when it comes to rebound dating or just hanging out helping each other move on and talk about it. Reboundersworld.com offers this type of environment for you to find people just like you to socialize with.
9. Find someone who shares common interests like you
It’s so ironic that both my business partner and I recently experienced a breakup while working at Reboundersworld.com. But because of the breakup, we have more time to work on the site, and more importantly, we got to know each other on a deeper level (after 3 years of partying together). We finally realized that we have the same beliefs, points of view and even the same purpose in life. I hope this is one of the main reasons why I quickly split up with my ex. Some days we found ourselves talking all day and all night without running out of topics to discuss. We’ve talked about a lot of different ideas on how to reach our goals from here. Remember, everything happens for a reason! This actually leads to my next argument.
10. The good things about their breakup!
This is another key point I want to emphasize. You have to have a positive attitude towards everything, not only for relationship issues, but also for everything else in life. We encounter so many problems in our daily life. We get so stressed over every little thing. sometimes we develop depressions, anxieties, etc. A bad breakup can definitely damage your mind and lower your confidence. Don’t let that affect you! You have to be strong! You must convince yourself that everything bad that has happened to you always leads or has led to something good. For example, if I was still with my ex right now, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet my friend and become best friends with him. I probably wouldn’t have had much time to focus on my career either. I’m excited to see more good things happen as a result of this breakup! It’s a problem only if you think it is!
11. Don’t keep calling your ex all the time!
Leave him/her alone! C’est fini! What is it that you don’t understand? If you think that upsetting the person will win them back, you are dead wrong! It will only make it even worse to remain friends with that person. You need a brake on each other. It will help you get over the person quickly, especially if you keep yourself busy. If you don’t plan on being friends with your ex anymore, delete their number and email and all of their text messages or voicemails. Keep all your belongings and photos.
12. All those bad things about him/her!
If you want to get over your ex faster, don’t dwell on all the good things they’ve done for you. I know it is very difficult to do, especially if your ex was very nice to you. However, no body is perfect. If you think about it, you can think of something that really bothered you, whether it was his stinky breath or the noises he made while chewing gum. I promise you, the more you think about it, the more you’ll appreciate being out of that relationship.
OK rebounders, I think this is enough to start. Try them out and let me know how they work. I always welcome new ideas, so if you have one please add it to the list and share it with the rest of us. Let’s all help each other recover!