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Getting Your Boyfriend Back: From a Guy’s Perspective

Getting Your Boyfriend Back: From a Guy’s Perspective

When a guy breaks up with you, it’s not always the end. Most of the time, we are tired of stress and fights; we just want a break from constantly having to deal with that stuff. Sometimes we break up with a girlfriend to go out with someone else, and while this hurts more than usual, at least it’s better than being cheated on.

Regardless of how your relationship ended, if you want to get an ex boyfriend back, you’re going to have to learn what to do…and what NOT to do. Below are some deep insights into the male mind; essentially what we’re thinking right after the relationship ends.

First of all, we want to avoid you. Right after a breakup, things are weird for us. Seeing you can be extremely awkward, which is why your ex suddenly seems ‘cold’ immediately after your relationship ends. He’s not being mean, he’s doing this for his own reasons, not yours. A guy doesn’t want the conflict or scrutiny that comes from seeing you after the relationship, so it’s easier to avoid it.

Making yourself scarce right now will go a long way in getting a man back. If you can somehow get out of sight, we suddenly wonder where you went. crazy, right? But it’s true. As much as we feel uncomfortable around you, we still want to know where you are… what you’re doing… who you’re with. Even though we initiated the breakup, any residual feelings can still cause jealousy. One of the most comforting things for a guy is to see his ex-girlfriend upset with him, at home and alone. He makes us feel as if we have made the right decision.

But on the contrary, seeing you with friends and having fun is like a poison for us. No guy wants to think that a girl has more fun without him than with him. Even if he himself is convinced that he has no feelings or needs a break, seeing his ex smiling and laughing right after a breakup is a huge blow to his ego. This leads him to wonder: if this girl was so funny, why the hell did I dump her in the first place? Getting your boyfriend back is all about putting him in this frame of mind.

Another big theme after the breakup: contact. While we’re still in the awkward beginning stages, we don’t want to talk to you just yet. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t want you to call. Again, a guy always wants to know that they still want him. Seeing your number on his caller ID is fuel for his ego. This verifies that you’re lonely and that he’s satisfied that you’re not going anywhere as long as you keep calling his phone.

On the other hand, looking at his phone and not finding missed calls is very disconcerting for a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend. Wait to see you call. He’s waiting for an email, a text, or a friend from you to come talk to him on your behalf. But by NOT doing these things, you have once again piqued his interest. You have shaken his expectations and done the exact opposite of what he thought you would do. Just by doing nothing, you’ve got him wondering.

You see, no matter who he is or how long you’ve been dating, any guy who breaks up with you wants one thing and one thing: to keep the door on their relationship open. Even if it’s only a crack open, the fact that the door isn’t completely closed is reassuring to him. Weeks, months, even years later, a guy likes to think that he can revisit that relationship IF he wants to. Knowing that neither of you closed the door keeps him comfortable: he won’t think too much about getting back into a serious long-term relationship unless he’s worried.

This is where you can take some control. There are ways to close that door, or at least almost. By taking that control, you are suddenly upsetting his comfortable position of being able to review your relationship and go out with you again if it suits him. By moving on with your life and allowing him to see it, you are very slightly closing that door on yourself. This is what will make your ex want you back: the idea that you are no longer there, even in the smallest capacity.

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