Anxiety attack and counterattack

How do you manage your anxiety so that it does not control your life?

I consider anxiety as part of the human condition. We all worry about things we have no control over, such as illness, loss, accidents, and the prospect of death (ours or that of someone we love). To maintain balance, we all need to feel some control over our lives. No one is in full control, but we all have enough to move forward with energy and optimism.

When we take charge of any situation, we are trying to impose order on an otherwise chaotic reality. Occupations tell me something about how people handle their anxiety. Doctors do it with diagnoses. Accountants do it with numbers. Writers do it with words. Lawyers do it with laws.

Some people satisfy their need for control by directing people. Examples include teachers, supervisors, military commanders, and the President of the United States. Some people seem to need more control than others!

When I see someone who is very stubborn, be it a child or an adult, I assume that this person has a great deal of anxiety and therefore also a great need for control. People who find part or all of their lives out of control lose flexibility. The more unmanageable things seem, the stiffer they become.

Anxiety can cause problems continuously or intermittently. We have all had periods when we cannot sleep. Some of us wake up at 3:00 am with scary thoughts. Some people freak out before or during tests. Medical tests or procedures terrify many of us. Serious losses and catastrophic events – fires, car accidents, serious illness, and death in the family – break our peace of mind.

Sometimes, too, anxiety tells us that our bodies are on strike. Panic attacks, for example, can indicate that our lifestyle is endangering our physiological balance: achtung! If you live in fear of these attacks, you must realize that managing anxiety is a life skill that we must all acquire.

To help us support ourselves, our brains constantly provide feedback to the rest of our bodies and receive newsletters in return. At any moment, I may notice that my nose is itchy, that I am starting to feel hungry, or that I feel persistent irritation (anxiety!) From an unpleasant phone call or a large bill that arrived in the mail yesterday.

In each case, I will have to recalibrate myself by taking some form of action. Anxiety is just one of many internal feeling states that I must respond to. I use a variety of strategies to solve problems and make myself feel better. If I perfect myself throughout the day, I can keep working and be true to my values.

If anxiety hangs over your life too much, assess the problem. When do you feel anxious? Where are you when anxiety strikes? How does it feel in your body? Get yourself a notebook. Write down a few lines each day. How anxious did you feel, on a scale of 1 to 10? What was happening at the time? How long did it last? What helped reduce or end it? How often do you feel anxious over the course of a week?

Play scientist. The more you understand the role anxiety plays in your life, the better you can handle it. By doing so, you are gaining control.

Strategy 1: Take control. If certain types of activities or events fill you with anticipatory anxiety, plan ahead. What precautions and supports can you put in place to make the ordeal less painful? Imagine the worst case scenario. Then tell yourself that you are ready for anything.

Some of life’s most unpleasant tasks are unavoidable. For these, consider putting on the blinders – don’t think about that mammogram until you get to the doctor’s office. If fear takes hold of you in the days leading up to your appointment, treat it as you would a glass that you dropped on the kitchen floor.

If the glass breaks, immediately sweep up the fragments with a dustpan and brush and throw them into the wastebasket. Then, so that no bare feet can step on the splinters you haven’t seen, you will probably vacuum the floor. If you had small children around, you would take the garbage out of the house completely. Do the same with unwanted thoughts. Give them the push and empty the trash.

Cheer up. Talk to yourself out loud. If this feels strange, try practicing in front of the bathroom mirror: “Easy! I can handle this. It’s not a big deal. This won’t take long. I’ve done more difficult things before. This will end soon,” etc.

Remember that the antidote to anxiety is control. Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search for Meaning, described surviving in a concentration camp by mentally detaching himself from the horrors. In his mind’s eye he imagined himself surveying and interpreting the scene around him from a distance. This technique, familiar to novelists, helped him stay sane while many others perished. You can do the same by reframing your nemesis to remind you of the ways in which you, the choreographer of your life, are in control. If your heart is pounding when you’re stranded on the Claiborne Pell Bridge, remember how much you wanted to see Newport, Rhode Island, on the other side.

Strategy 2: Avoid your anxiety. When terror takes hold of you, distract yourself. Stay busy. Pick a task or activity that will keep your mind busy and smooth.

Schedule worry time. Say to yourself, “I’m going to worry about it between 4:30 and 5:00 tonight, so I can’t think about it now.” So stay true to the deal. When 4:30 comes, see how much worry you can do.

Wreck your brain over something wonderful from the past, maybe a day at the beach or time with an important family member. Choose a souvenir with lots of sensory details: azure blue, windswept sky; resplendent summer day; the smell of hot, sweet hay; the lapping of the fresh waters of the lake; the soft peal of old church bells; the taste of sticky roasted marshmallows. Then whenever bad thoughts arise, simply switch your mind to the rich and satisfying memory that you have identified.

Strategy 3: Accept your anxiety. If your anxiety is a monster that threatens to overwhelm you in unpredictable ways, give it a name. After all, it is not you, but something separate from you.

Accept your anxiety. Talk to him. “Okay Angie, I’m ready for you. I’m all yours. Put it on me. Make my worst and end it. You can’t get the best of me.”

If specific activities cause you to panic (airplanes, elevators, syringes, crowds, traffic jams), try some exposure therapy. Plan a campaign to desensitize yourself. For example, if you were afraid to go up in an elevator, you could take a friend to look at one. On successive follow-up visits, he would get closer and closer to the elevator. Eventually, you would step out with the doors open. Then you would step on and close the doors.

You get the picture. On each visit, she would try as hard as she could before the anxiety became overwhelming. You will eventually succeed in reprogramming yourself!

Strategy 4: Be a parent to yourself wisely. Take good care of the body and soul. Alcohol, caffeine, and cigarettes fuel anxiety. Eat sensibly and get a good night’s sleep. Exercise every day and let your training take the stress out of you. As you sweat, think about the things that bother you. In this way, you can expel anger and tension from your body.

Take stock of your progress frequently. Congratulate yourself on your accomplishments. Celebrate yourself.

Recognize that difficult jobs deserve rewards. Bribe yourself to endure the trials. Learn how to give yourself treats that take a few seconds, a few hours, and a few days. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a young child.

Don’t worry about the little things or things that have happened or are out of your control. Ask yourself, before wasting a lot of time and energy: “In twenty years, who will know the difference?”

Have faith. Say to yourself every day or more often, “With God’s help, I can handle whatever this day throws at me.”